Hungry?

Chubby Children make me hungry in the sickening way.

sweet dreams.

Ellen and Portia Wedding Video

If you don’t at least feel like crying, you have no soul.

A toast!! to blonde, lady-lovers who make money in their sleep

Their love is not of this Earth and when I grow up, I will be Ellen Degeneres.

Jurassic Park at Midnight in L.A.

Tonight I will be enjoying Giant Lizards and Jeff Goldblum on a screen that’s wider than Lindsay Lohan’s cervix.

Jurassic Park at Midnight in Los Angeles.

Come because you appreciate fine Cinema.

Come because you plan on taking acid and shitting your pants.

Come because you want to watch Wayne Knight’s monster shit interrupted by a hungry T-REX.

Just come.

Regency Fairfax Theatre Showtimes. 7907 Beverly Blvd., Hollywood, CA90048.

Barack Obama: Presidential Candidate or Pop Diva?

you decide.

Seth Green Film Festival in Los Angeles.

Attention people of planet nerdtastic,

your favorite shrimpy ginger celebrity is going to get his very own film festival.

The excitement begins on September 3.

SETH GREEN’S CINEMATIC CAVALCADE OF HORROR!

special guests TBA!!!

sept 3&4 ROBO COP & DIE HARD

sept 5&6 STRANGE BREW & BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

sept 7-9 YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES & TBA

sept 10&11 THREE O CLOCK HIGH & STATE OF GRACE

sept 12&13 BEVERLY HILLS COP & TBA

sept 14&15 SUPERMAN & BATMAN

head on down to the New Bev this fall and enjoy.

I will be there along with hundreds of others who couldn’t play sports in high school.

7165 West Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90036

Going to the Chapel and we’re gonna get tax breaks.

“That’s right, George Bush. We refuse to let your puckered conservative stink-hole stop us from arguing about curtains and organic dogfood brands.”

Lesbo-knot tied.

My black ass was all up in there

I went to the overcrowded Canoga Park 24hr Laundramat yesterday and I met a heavyset black woman who shared with me all of her Taxicab Confessions.

Basically, I was sitting on top of a washing machine when a short middle-aged woman wobbled over and told me that Tupac ” kept it real” and was ” her favorite motherfucker”. Now I could give a pair of wrinkled saggy balls about which rapper was the realest motherfucker but for fear that she would knife out one of my vital organs if I grabbed my wet clothes and peeled out of the parking lot, I sat there in silence and learned  Exactly what Mick Jagger likes his ghetto ethnic hookers to do for mad cash.

So here’s to you Mick ,your strange fixation with coffins, and a woman you knew as “shorty” so many years ago.

Miley Cyrus is the product of Satan and Feces.

MILEY CYRUS makes me want to….

a

a) vomit for the rest of forever

b) smile and laugh while i buy her albums and have dance parties

c) drink until i am drunk enough to forget that Miley Cyrus is a person that exists in my reality

I know she is 15 and I know that she has unfortunate teeth but she also has about 7 million dollars and the power to make 3 year olds enjoy wearing  tube tops. This poll is the first step towards getting a unanimous vote that will inevitabley lead to her demise. So come on guys. Let’s extinguish the Hannah Montana Flame before I  get my tubes tied for fear of her influence on my future daughters and flamboyantly gay sons.

make your decision wisely.

Get up. Stand up. and pass the dorritos.

Attention: Men and women with extremely baggy pants, glow in the dark attire, and “a really AWESOME hand-made piece from Cabo”

Get out your zig zags and turn on the black light.

It’s time to trip out.

Can you pass the acid test?

Brad Pitt sexifying Legends of th Fall

Before there was Brangelina,

There was dirty, rugged Tristen Ludlow and a curly haired brunette.

Crazed youtube fanatic, Ljay211986 remembers just as well as I do. So celebrate Wednesday by watching Brad Pitt hump away at Susannah’s virgin pocket. I am sure that Ljay211986 sync’d up the naked fun to a good-old fashioned Celine Dion tune that will naturally distract and confuse you so you might want to turn down the volume.