Brad Pitt sexifying Legends of th Fall

Before there was Brangelina,

There was dirty, rugged Tristen Ludlow and a curly haired brunette.

Crazed youtube fanatic, Ljay211986 remembers just as well as I do. So celebrate Wednesday by watching Brad Pitt hump away at Susannah’s virgin pocket. I am sure that Ljay211986 sync’d up the naked fun to a good-old fashioned Celine Dion tune that will naturally distract and confuse you so you might want to turn down the volume.

A little Item I call: Does anyone know if I’m Dead or Alive?

Hello stranger, I am Dom Delouise.

I had a principle role in the animated feature All Dogs Go to Heaven. Nobody knows if I have ever worked on anything else in my entire life. I clearly have high cholesterol as well as advanced diabetes due to my 700 pound face and body. No man woman or child has heard my name out loud in over 2 decades.

So I pose the question, ” Am I gambling away my last $4 leftover from a lifetime movie I did in 1996 or am I pushing up daisies in a Van Nuys Cemetary?”

my 1990’s Man Meat Countdown

Give  me A.C. Slater in a hypercolor muscle shirt and I will vomit from the excitement.

Without further adeu,

MY FAVORITE 90′S BEEFCAKES:

10. “WHEN I TALK TO LAURA SHE CREAMS IN HER PANTIES BECAUSE I AM JUST SO DAMNED SMOOTH. “

STEFAN URQUELLE

9. “WE DON’T POUND EACH OTHER’S BUTTHOLES WE JUST LIKE TO WORK OUT A LOT AND WATCH SPORTS IN BETWEEN TEARIN’ UP THE PUSSY, OF COURSE”

A.C. SLATER

AND OUR FAVORITE PREPPY BED-WETTER,

ZACK MORRIS

8.”MY COCK IS THE SIZE OF A FUCKING KEILBASA AND I DEFINITELY WANT TO BANG YOU WITH IT”

MARKY MARK

7. DUMB-AS-A-ROCK

JOEY LAWRENCE

6. OUR VERY OWN LOW-RENT BATMAN..

ANGEL

5. SEXY SCIENTIST TYPE AND RESIDENT SOFT-SPOKEN GENTLEMAN

DR. SAM BECKET

4. THE BIGGEST AND THE BEST OF ALL MOTORCYCLE DRIVING, 40-YEAR-OLD HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS

LUKE PERRY.

3. “MY VEST IS ALWAYS OPEN AND 40 YEAR OLD BITCHES LOVE THAT SHIT”

HERCULES

2. ALL THE WAY FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS,

PACEY WITTER

and finally our #1 tortured, ” I secretly never learned how to read and my home life is dog shit” 90’s babe……

JORDAN CATALLANO

Xena The Lesbian Princess

Would you care to know what my biggest weakness is next to capers and blonde girls with long pointy noses?

YOUTUBE FAN VIDEOS ABOUT XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS

We don’t know each other but if we did, you might say, ” Angie you have gone cunt-crazy for Lucy Lawless and someone needs to push a come-back-to-reality stick up your poop poop hole before it’s too late”

but here’s the thing, Lucy Lawless is a fucking goddess from planet Hot. She is beautiful, she is dangerous, and she can do that thing where she hits pressure points on your neck, forces blood to trickle out of your nose, and threatens to let you just lie there and die IF you don’t tell her when the warlord plans to attack the village.

So you see, I’m not crazy. You guys just didn’t know all that other shit.

Lesbians can fight about taxes too!

It is with great pleasure that I announce,

Celebrity Lesbian Wedding Announcement #2

Every time a lesbosaurus gets married an Angel gets a pair of Birkenstock sandles and 4 earth-tone polo shirts.

-Belafonte

I LOVE LESBIANS

to a community of about 100,000 people, Jackie -” I have large muscles and eat a lot of jailbait pussy” -Warner is the messiah. In fact, watching the her TV show about hot dumb people who hook up with each other and work out a lot and then talk about working out a lot and hooking up with each other made me want to work on getting some fucking ripped ass guns.

but, to be frank I just bought the Critic DVD box set and said Fuck it.

This is a video that will make you horny and lonely.

or happy and hopeful depending on how bitter and jaded you are at this point in your life.

MOVIE LESBIANS DOING MOUTH-TO-MOUTH SEXY TIME