Quantum Creep

 

BAKULA: HOT PIECE or 50 YEAR OLD MAN THAT ONLY I AM ATTRACTED TO?

Here’s the thing, Scott Bakula deserves to be talked about at least once every 7 months . Sure, Quantum leap was over about 8 years ago and none of the actors have really done anything but fat lines of blow and low-budget made-for-TV movies since the series cancelation in 1996

BUT HEY, he’s Dr. Sam Beckett

and no one is bumpable like Dr. Sam Beckett .

He’s the kind of guy who would slip his hand around your neck and caress the soft spot behind your ear before looking at you as if to say, ” you are so fucking beautiful that looking at you makes me feel like our souls are dancing together in an ocean of love and chocolate”

Now, I am not completely sure which Learn to love your Partner instructional VHS this screen shot came from. All I can infer is that Dr. Sam Beckett is sensual and also hairier than any generic, deadly half-man half-monster creature.

 

I will say that I saw the BAK once at the Madrid on Sherman Way which is the kind of theater where the florescent marquee has 4 bulbs burnt out and the ticket counter is jam-packed with hateful sickly looking he/shes that wear too much black eyeliner.

My girlfriend and I were celebrating our 3 month anniversary by taking in the sexually-charged, nazi song and dance spectacular:

CABARET.

Bakula was sitting in the lobby with 4 elitist boogers talking about how flat the singers were and how,” it was just so awful to sit through that wretched rendition of blablablablabla something else pretentious” This experience made me decide that Scott Bakula is less of a 90’s babe and more of a washed up 2004 Snobberson McCock.

 

But just to put it out there…

I would blow his 50 year old dong.

 

 

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Lesbians can fight about taxes too!

It is with great pleasure that I announce,

Celebrity Lesbian Wedding Announcement #2

Every time a lesbosaurus gets married an Angel gets a pair of Birkenstock sandles and 4 earth-tone polo shirts.

-Belafonte

Who lives all day in a cake made of strawberries?

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

Don’t ask yourself why in 1988 a group of nine 6 -year-old children lived in a land made of fattening desserts. Just enjoy this happy little song about happy little Strawberry Land and remember that your childhood is over- but if you do the right drugs, you can watch this clip and be right back in your childhood living room eating gushers and learning phrases like, “bite me”.

If you enjoy bootleg copies of old TV shows that make you smile and sing silly songs about strawberry cakes and rainbow land .. I suggest you go here.I am in no way affiliated with this site but I have speant over $300 buying crap that I don’t need from it and I feel like you deserve to do the same.

Some of the titles that they offer are:

Rocko’s Modern Life

Snorks

Strawberry Shortcake

Daria

The original X-MEN

and a lot of other junk that you will surely need in order to be happy.